So here I am at work. I’m monitor tech today so that means I pretty much just sit and watch a screen when it beeps, and on the hour write all my people’s heart rates and heart rhythms on a sheet of paper.  The most exciting part of my day was going outside to eat my lunch. It was a really nice day (from what I saw of it anyway) and I would have enjoyed spending more time out in it. Alas, woe is me.  Only 50 minutes left at work. 49. 48.  ; ) This could get tiresome.  I did find out today that I’ll be able to get GUI access, which was very exciting. GUI is something the hospital uses to print patient stickers and look up patients in the hospital. It’ll be really nice to have it because I hate having to tell everyone who asks me to print something, “Sorry, I don’t have GUI.” In a really dumb apologetic way, like I’m totally inconvieniencing them by not having been given something. 

I just read an excellent book called “Little Brother” by Cory Doctorow. It’s a book about a not-so-distant future where ordinary citizens are treated like terrorists. That’s a stupid description, but I don’t want to have to think about how to make it sound more interesting. I would. however,  highly recommend it to anyone over the age of 14. 

I feel kind of wierd right now; I’m not sure why.  There’s this class at our local college that I want to take, but I also need to go to scotland and visit my grandparents this fall so taking a class would be kind of difficult to do :P Ugh, I hate making these kinds of decisions.  At the same time, however, I would hate it more if someone else tried to make it for me. :)

Well the, ah, stuff is hitting the fan.

Dr. Horrible

www.drhorrible.com

This is seriously awesome. You should check it out.

Dr Horrible

<a href=”http://www.drhorrible.com”><img src=”http://www.drhorrible.com/images/banners/banner2.gif” border=”0″></a>

This is seriously awesome. You should check it out.

MIT and GH

I heard about this website several months ago, but I forgot about it until today. It’s a site run by MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) that’s called OpenCourseWare. It might have spaces between the words though :) Anyway, it has hundreds of courses that you can take for free. The catch is that you don’t get any credit for them. I think it’s like auditing a class (though I’ve never done that, so maybe not) where you can watch lectures and read notes and have the same information as the students actually taking the class. It does say a few places that you do not get access to any faculty, though. So you couldn’t call the prof. and say, “You know, could you tell me more about… ” or whatever people say to their professors! : )

I really like Coldplay. They have a cool style and I like the instruments they play. The main thing I would change about them though, is that there would be more guitar. I have a huge soft spot for guitars.  Though I’m not sure where it stems from exactly. I’m not sure if I like guitars because I liked a certain guitar player once upon a time, or if I liked the guitar player because I like guitars. Now there’s a chicken/egg dilemma for you.  I think I must have liked guitars and their sound long before Guitar Hero (as my sister and I affectionately named him) came into my life (such as it is), but I don’t think GH’s superb playing hindered that love either. I think he moved to Asia. *Sigh* I guess I’ll have to find another guy to fixate onto. Watch out men of the world: You might be next! Mwuahahahha!

Hee, can you tell I’m tired as I write this?  I need my bed. Only 45 minutes of work left! Yay!

My feet hurt

My feet hurt. I have been at work for 28 of the last … I can’t even do basic math. I worked for 12 hours on Thursday, 8 hours yesterday and 8 hours today. I have 8 more hours tomorrow, and then I get a day off! Yay … man, even my yay is boring.  It’s such a stereotype for nurses’ feet to hurt, but trying being on your feet for literally 8 hours. Constantly walking from room to room, lifting people to the bedside commode, turning people onto their side when they can’t move at all on their own. Shoving a new sheets underneath a 220lb woman who has no power in her body,  and them pulling them out the other side while trying not to jar their hip that’s probably broken. When you do get the sheets changed then you have to get a helper and you both pull on the draw-sheet underneath the patient in order to pull her up in bed. I say again, a 220lb woman with no power in her body. That’s a lot of weight. And I’m seriously not complaining here; I know it sounds like I am, and I’m trying hard to just make it informational, but I’m tired so it may not come out that way. If that makes any sense. It’s funny, I don’t usually proofread these posts. It’s like I’ve gotten all the information out of my head so I don’t need to ever think about it again.  Anyway, my feet hurt. I did get new tennis shoes, though, I was really desperate for them. Both of my older pairs give my blisters. : ( Not a good thing.

Movies and noses

So I watched Batman begins the other day. It was wonderful. The acting, the story, the effects, the flying, everything was perfect. Heath Ledger was utterly fantastic as The Joker, and Aaron Eckhart had his best role/movie ever playing Harvey Dent.  I won’t ex posit Christian Bale’s attributes; we’d be here all day ; ) The story itself was darker than Batman Begins, but I thought the overall theme and tone of the first one was carried over to The Dark Knight very well. I felt like it was the perfect continuation of BB, not the horrible, purposeless mess some people seem to think it was. I’m glad it’s getting all the accolades I think it deserves. Chris and Jon Nolan are extremely talented and brilliant brothers. I very much hope they keep making movies together.  I heartily recommend it!

Another movie I saw recently is Once. It’s the story of a guy who works in his dad’s hoover shop and sings songs he wrote himself on the street by night. A girl meets him and asks him to fix her hoover and they form a friendship. The guy (played by Glen Hansard of the Irish group The Flames) plays the guitar very well and has a really good voice. The girl ( Markéta Irglová, a European singer/songwriter) plays the piano and sings with such a sweet voice. Anyway, they start to play some of Guy’s songs together and they record some of them at a studio. I won’t give away the rest of the story, but it was such a good movie. The music is wonderful all by itself, but when I saw the way it fits into the film it made even more sense and was that much better, Both Glen and Markéta were amazing and quite charming. Markéta was a really nice voice and her accent is… it just pulls you into what she’s saying, if you get what I mean. And Glen is such a sweet guy. I love seeing the friendship between the two of them grow throughout the movie. I heartily recommend it, too!

Something else I did this week was get hit in the nose by a child’s very hard head! I was playing Freeze Tag with a bunch of kid’s at my church’s VBS and a child’s head (very hard, by the way) hit the bridge of my nose. She instantly turned around and asked if I was OK, but I told her I was fine. When Amy, the grown up next to us asked me the same question a second later I said, “No, I don’t think so.” I hope the girl didn’t hear me say that! Anyway, it started bleeding and I sort of stumbled inside the building and some very nice ;ladies helped me sit down and put some ice on it. I called my mum a few minutes later and she came and took me to the doctor. I had a few x-rays done just to make sure I didn’t break anything, and it all came back negative. So that’s good. I also had some blood work done to check my iron levels, but they haven’t called back yet. Maybe they’ll just send me a letter later early next week. My nose hasn’t bruised or swelled as much as I think I deserve for all the trouble we went to, but I think I’ll call in sick to work tomorrow anyway!

I’m going to a Jars of Clay concert tonight with my little sister’s youth group and I’m kind of not looking forward to it. I think it’s because I’d rather stay in tonight, but also because my parents are coming back from a mini-vacation tonight and I like to be home when they get back from those. I’m sure it’ll be fun, though.

My Dog

I meant to add a photo of our dog to the post I made last night, but I forgot. So here she is:

Isn’t she cute?

Random things

So I don’t have any specific subject in mind tonight, but I feel lik writing something, so I suppose it’ll come as I write it.

I saw on another blog this website called Wordle.net. It’s a website that you can put a bunch of text into and it’ll tell you what words are the most often used. My most used word was “really”. I mean, what a boring word, no? I’ve decided that I need to use that word far less.

Our dog just jumped up on my leg to indicate that she wanted held, but now that I’m holding her, she’s getting all bossy by sticking her wet nose into my arm and trying to get my elbow in the perfect spot for her face to lay on. It’s a little weird to feel her swallow; her throat is right on my forearm.  She a pretty cute dog, though. It’s not like she’s a horribly ugly critter or anything.

I was watching Planet Earth the other day, and what I saw amazed and repulsed me. There was a story about this cave that had many, many bats living in it. The bats pooped a massive amount of … whatever the word for bat poop is. Anyway, the poop made a mound 100 meters high! That part was kind of cool, but the repulsive part was that on the surface of the poop there lived thousands upon thousands of … cockroaches!! *shudder* It was so gross. I think I squealed :) Such a girl, tut, tut, tut.

Work was good today. I was on the surgical floor, which is probably my favourite. The patients there aren’t as systemically weakened, they’ve mostly just had colon/rectal surgeries, which isn’t actually as bad as one would think. There is a lot of cleaning up after people, but one does get used to it. At least, I did. 

I bought 3 swimsuits on Lands end.com today. They had free shipping so I just went all out. I’m planning on keeping the one that fits best and taking back the other two.  I also bought a very lightweight robe on Kohl’s.com for only 2.08 with shipping! I was so excited. I think it shipped to day. :) Maybe I’ll wear it over my swimsuit; there’s a thought…

Speaking of semi-colons, I always use them wrong. I don’t have a good enough grasp of the English language to get where the semicolon is supposed to be used. Now ‘whom’ I think I have covered. I couldn’t necessarily define it very well, but I’m pretty sure I could use it properly in a sentence. 

I take the bus to work. I sued to take the 6, but it would get me to work too late. I would get there on a good day 5 minutes before my shift starts, and I did not like that. The other problem with the 6 was that I was the first person on the bus (besides the driver, :) ) and the driver liked to talk to me. I, sometimes unfortunately, have a very bad fear of offending people or making them feel bad at all. Now I know that’s not a bad thing, but sometimes it does turn me into a doormat. I’ve getting better, though! Anyway, one day, after much gnashing of teeth at the annoyance of the driver, I decided to try an earlier bus, the 5, which transfers to an earlier 6, which gets me to work 15-20 minutes early. So I took this bus route once and I have never gone back :) It takes only 10 minutes to do what the original ride took 20-25 minutes. Ridiculous, I know. I realise that’s all a bit confusing, but it makes sense to me :)

OK, so I just wrote this paragraph about a girl I know who wants to get married very, very badly. I erased it because it wasn’t edifying to anyone. I’ll just say that I hope she finds someone who will appreciate her for who she is, and that she would appreciate him for who he is, and not try to change him.

That will start my next topic: people who think they can change someone they love. Now, I have been and am still quite often, guilty of this very thing. But the fact remains that people rarely if ever change unless they want to change.  It’s very sad that so many people get married with the object of changing their new spouse. I tend to think that women do that more than men, but that’s probably because, as a woman, I tend to think more like a woman :)

What kinds of things to I say and write that make people think differently/badly about me? Just thinking about these posts of mine; what kind of a person do people truly think I am? I don’t know.

This morning my alarm went off at 5:55am like it always does when I work at 7am. The only difference is that usually when I hear it my mind automatically realises that I go to work today. But today my mind took a minute or two. I heard the alarm and woke up from sleep, but I didn’t completely know where I was or what I was supposed to do. It was probably the closest I’ve ever been to potentially being late for work. :) I know, that was a funny sentence.

I am going to go see The Dark Knight on Sunday. I. Can’t. Wait! I absolutely adore Christian Bale. He is the most awesome Batman ever. And Batman is the very best superhero ever, so that makes Christian Bale better than Superman. I always knew it :)

There is this hi-larious clip of John Krasinski (Jim, from The Office) on Conan O’Brien.   http://www.givememyremote.com/remote/john-krasinski-on-conan/ The whole clip is good, I’m sure, but my favourite part is about 1.40 into the clip. The funniest thing. I love this guy too :)

Lonely, I suppose

I’ve been feeling really morose today. I could say I’m not sure why, but I do know why; that’s what makes it so depressing.  I don’t have anyone to spend time with outside of my family. I haven’t found anyone at work with whom I have a particular connection. Church is not my element for making friends; I always feel like everyone else would rather be talking to someone more interesting. That’s probably a big part of my problem: I don’t have the greatest self-value. I think it’s because I compare myself with people who’ve had a traditional upbringing and education. 

I’m watching my 7 yo brother and sister playing with a little girl from church and I’m just struck with the simplicity of making friends when you’re that age. They aren’t worrying about what the girl will think of them, she is just their friend. I used to make friends that way. I think about Joelle, my friend from childhood, and when I first met her. I don’t remember the moment, but I must have been really young because I was young when I remember going to her house to play.  We just played together and talked about things. She was my best friend and yet there wasn’t any formal “I dub thee, Friend” moment.  Then she moved away. I still regret not continuing to e-mail her. I just stopped one day; forgot about it until I thought it was too late to e-mail her again.  How stupid. Is it too late to e-mail her again and try to renew the friendship? I’d feel really stupid, but I suppose a lot of friendships begin that way : )  I really miss her though.  I’m so hungry right now, my back hurts. Huh.

I saw on an e-mail signature some reference to Timothy and it made me think of the verse in 1 Tim. that says:

1 Timothy 4:11-16

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress. Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.

That verse always makes me think. Because in daily living I let myself be swayed by the thinking that I’m not old/knowledgeable/traveled/well-read/and-dozens-others enough. 

“Just a small town girl, livin’ in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin’ anywhere”

I feel like I need a midnight train going anywhere. Lately I’ve been feeling, in spite of all my efforts to the contrary, that my life isn’t going anywhere. That midnight train is pretty appealing at times. And no. That isn’t a metaphor for suicide and never will be. If I die it won’t be by my own hand unless I’m given the choice to take my own life or take one of my family members’.

There’s another song that has parts that I really identify with (stupid though they may be):

Ever, Ever After
Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true
Deep down inside we want to believe they still do
In our secretest heart it’s our favourite part of the story
Let’s just admit we all want to make it too

That song sort of gives me an odd hope. It may be considered stupid to identify with songs like this, but I don’t care. I really like the sentiments expressed in songs about Happily Ever After. That’s probably why I like Disney Princess stories so much: Happy Endings.

On that note: I’m out.

I was in bed thinking this morning… No. It has to back further than that. I was talking to this guy yesterday at a 4th of July picnic. I really appreciated the way he spoke and what he spoke about. It was very intelligent conversation and yet not at all snobbish. And I really appreciate that kind of conversation in a man (in women as well, but as a single female, I tend to notice more when men have it).  Anyway, last night I said to my sister that I really wanted to get to know more men like this and ultimately marry one. Then this morning I was in bed thinking how I didn’t know as much as I could reasonably know about politics or theology. But I want to know more! SO I thought then of all the books I could read to help me on my way to knowing more theology (especially). I’m sitting there thinking about what book I should read first when I notice my bible sitting on my bedside table. I go, “Huh. Maybe I’ll just pick that book up first.” Now I’m thinking, “Duh! You’re an idiot sometimes. Sheesh. Of course the bible should be my first choice.” So I picked up the bible and just opened it at random and it landed in the Old Testament so I flipped forward to the New Testament. The first paragraph my eye wandered to was Matthew 7:7-11.

7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

It really made me see that I was starting out the wrong way. I want to become more aware and knowledgeable of God and his attributes and desires, but I wasn’t starting with the center, God. I read that passage and it hit me like a ton of bricks. How often do I dance around as issue without saying exactly what it is that I want?  I do it because I don’t want to make the other person feel like they have to do what I want, and because I don’t want them to think badly of me. I know it doesn’t really make any sense, but that’s why I do it.  I think of talking to God that same way. But God will never think badly of me for asking him a question. I have already betrayed him in the worse way, and yet he forgave me. And God won’t ever do anything that isn’t good for me. I know that he would never do anything that he doesn’t want to do.  I don’t need to worry about anything with God. I know that he loves me, and that he will never desert me.  That’s a good feeling. The people around you will wrong you, hold grudges, die, but God will never do any of those things.

 

On a side note:  How should I get my hair cut on Tuesday? I’m thinking of getting it layered, but I need to make more of a decision before I go. It’s a little longer than shoulder length right now, and I don’t want it too short. I should look at pictures online.

:)